Yesterday was my last day of work. :( Miss spending time with them, joking and chatting with them and complaining about everything to them. They said they won't forget me but I think I'm too pessimistic. WL will be going to army soon so it's even harder to keep in touch even though he promised me that he will do so. As for my colleagues in SPH, they will soon get used to the new staff and will eventually forget about me especially since I'm just a temp staff. I know I'm pessimistic but sometimes it's better to be this way. 希望越大，失望也越大。I rather think about the worst than expecting the best. But of course I still believe that they will ask me out and we will meet up soon. I'm always like that, too 依赖on certain things, people etc and I feel so lost and insecure when suddenly everything I have is gone.
My friend just asked me whether I'm going for the freshman orientation and I suddenly realise that no one I know is going NTU (at least for the time being). The only person I know who will be going to NTU is inside the army now and I suddenly realise that I'm a bit dependent on him. I mean we went to the 3 university open house together and no matter what happened, he will be there for me. Like when we were lost in the school, he will be there to ask for directions. When I don't know what to do or where to go next, he will suggest something. When I'm bored, he will entertain me etc. And I know that I'm not alone because he will always be there with me, so I'm not scare of anything. But things are different now. I will be going to school alone while he will be in the army. No one will be there to accompany me, no one will be there to listen to my complains and not finding it irritating, no one will joke or entertain me when I feel sian. I seriously can't stand it when I'm alone. I hate the feeling of walking alone in the front/at the back of the group. To my honest, before I started working, I hate going out alone. I'm so so used to waiting for somebody at AMK/Bishan MRT, so so used to going home with somebody, so so used to a lot of things that I feel so insecure now. Haiz.. But i need to grow up and stop depending on people, especially this friend who is always there for me (and he knows that if he's not there for me, I will be damn angry, LOL). And I admit that I'm so used to him being there no matter what that I was super angry and sad when he said he was too lazy to come out that time. It actually affected my mood during chalet and what I said that night is mostly 气话. Like I never really mind helping him with so many things since we are good friends and I never really mind that he didn't give me the soft toy he promised to give me. Actually he did help me with the planning of the chalet and he sure did a lot for me too. I know he was quite 不爽that night because I said it in front of so many people. But actually it's all because I was not in a good mood since he 放我飞机. He promised me to watch movie with me but in the end he 爽约. Haha. I don't know why I'm writing this since it happened one month again. I guess he wont even have the time to read this. And I know he will say that he doesn't mind it at all, but I still want to say thank you and sorry to him. It's really nothing but yeah, I just want to write it down.
我任性，我心直口快，我没耐心，我容易烦躁，我可以优柔寡断，我可以很悲观，我可能有很多的缺点，但我感谢你们只看见我的优点，包容我的缺点。
