I didn't even realise I was crying until I felt that there was a drop of tear on my right cheek.

Actually I don't want to cry in front them, I don't want anybody to worry about me, I don't want anybody to know that I am feeling stress. I just want to cry at home because I want to be strong in front of the dancers. I tried to hold back my tears but I think it's really hard to control my own emotion. I just feel so down during dance recently. I cannot catch the music, I'm not able to extend to the maximum, I'm not familiarize with my action, I cannot spin proper, I cannot control my breathing, I cannot get the feel of the dance... I feel so demoralize especially when I fail to reach my own expectation.

I always like to build up a lively mood before dance. That's why I think many dancers think I'm very optimistic, cheerful and high. But to tell you the truth, I'm pessimistic and I will feel depress easily. At the end of each dance practice, the smile on my face is just a mask to cover up how depressing I am (unless that day we were good = rarely). But I'm glad that all the dancers will be there for me. Talking to them really cheer me up a lot! Really love them a lot. And the seniors as well! They are really really nice. I really want to thank them for encouraging me, consoling me, cheering me up!

I love NJCD!